Not often that I say

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January 15, 2015 by scratchtype1

The other night I sat, mostly quiet and much as usual, before the league that I bowl in would start. The league secretary distributed the league dues payment envelopes and league standings sheets and she dropped off those items for the pair of lanes where my team and the opposing team would bowl.

I looked up at her and she looked back at me. She said, “Do you ever speak?”

I gave her a somewhat confused look, bobbed my head a bit side to side as if pondering something to say, then shrugged up my shoulders and waved my hands up in the air around chest level a bit, so as to say, “Maybe? Maybe not?”

That made her laugh and made me smile. It’s okay sometimes to smile at your own jokes and if you get off a really good one, maybe even laugh a little bit. But never too much.

—-

I cannot fucking write right now. It’s frustrating as hell. Running is going better some, well, it has to be better than writing because I can’t write satisfactorily. Not that I can say 2015 is off to a great start. The weather has been fairly cold some and a few days of sloppy weather made me decide not to run those days. And now since last Saturday night, I’ve been afflicted some with an irritating sore throat and currently slightly runny nose. The only running I’ve been able to do while like this is very very easy. It also helped make my decision not to run the Icicle 10-Miler this year last Sunday.

I also haven’t run barefoot in some time now. It’s been difficult to find dry conditions and roads without rock salt on them.

It’s something of a holding pattern right now. Both running and writing. It makes me think of a time that a flight was taking got held up from taking off. But that was so long ago now, funny how so many of those memories still live so strongly. I am both the same person of then and also different. I’m not always sure how exactly.

Here are fundamental principles about the essential qualities of running. They may or may not be true, I’ll leave it to you to decide if they are, if any of them are:

1. Running is about getting from one place to another

2. Our species began running because of hunger, because of the need to eat.

3. Every run is a story. Some suck, some transform, some are meh.

4. It’s emptiness that makes many of us run.

5. It’s okay that sometimes even when you’re having a gloriously happy run, to rummage around inside the darker areas and find some anger to run even faster.

6. It’s a damned good idea to run at least some and sometimes barefoot. Those nerves in the soles of the feet can use the work and sensation. Really.

7. The next run may be your last. Or maybe your last one will turn out to be the last. If you’re good at living, you’ll have said everything you’ve needed to say before then. If you’re crappy at it like me, know that you’ll have much you’ve thought to say but never got to.

So there you go. It’s a bit of a dark cold place, the middle of January. My chances of a good run tomorrow look dismal. The nose drips too much still.

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